We Can Change The World
Author: Lady Wolfwind
I am growing older. That’s a fact. I’m still in the Mother stage of my life, but I am fast approaching Crone. I am okay with this. More than most people, I would guess. I’ve learned that part of my contribution to society, as a Crone, is to provide wisdom and guidance to those seekers who ask. I’ve fit into this role flawlessly. Most people don’t want to hear what you have to say and if they do, they don’t listen anyway. I’m sure this is just a natural part of life. I never listened to my elders either. I look back on it now and I remember their words. How I wish I’d heeded their advice. The road would have been so much easier and I would have traveled so much farther.
I think that we’ve all learned some hard lessons on our journey. I believe that it’s what life is all about. I believe that our lessons and experiences have shaped who we are and what we believe to be true today. I wonder what experiences have led all of you to the Goddess’s path? What made us choose to be so different than mainstream society and their beliefs?
I was talking to my husband this morning. He is not Pagan, but he respects me for who I am. I had had a conversation with our daughter the previous night and there were some things that were said that bothered me. It seems that in talking to my children, they expect me to “be” a certain way. They have expectations of who I should be and how I should be living my life and even what I should believe. They are grown and out of all the people in my life, they are the ones I feel pressure from to live the way society says I should. To put on a false face to please them and the world. They don’t live near me so there is no embarrassment that Mom is a Pagan. Most time I don’t think they know what it truly means and they don’t care to ask or to listen. They are caught up in living their lives and making a living.
As children, I put aside dealing with my own life and figuring out what I wanted for my future to raise them. I didn’t let my past life experiences determine how I would make decisions regarding them. I have come to realize, now that they are older, I’ve grown into the woman I was meant to become. All of my life experiences have made me who I am. They don’t seem to understand that I had past experiences before they were born. They don’t understand that I am living my life exactly the way I want to. They don’t’ seem to understand that it’s a person’s choice to not fit in. It’s the way it has to be. They talk about their past experiences and lessons and think that if it is so with them, it must be so with me. I can never be the person they think I should be.
My husband feels that this is a lesson for them to learn. That it takes years of wisdom before you understand what I’m trying to say. I’m so afraid that even he doesn’t understand what I’m trying to say. Maybe he feels that I should live like everyone else as well. He is younger than me. He set my fears at rest when he looked me in the eyes and told me, “ There are not many people who have the courage to live as you do.” I knew then that he understands me. He said it with such a deep feeling of respect and love that it brought tears to my eyes.
I am afraid that my children will wish they’d gotten to know me after I pass to the other side. Isn’t that the way it usually is? Don’t we all stand back and wish we’d said this or that? Don’t we wish we’d listened to one more story or just sat a few moments longer? Is there a time when we have that “ah ha” moment when it all becomes crystal clear and we finally put the final piece of the puzzle in place and understand the whole picture we’ve struggled with for so long? It is a sad realization that we never took the time to get to know the ones we love the most. Why do they feel the way they do? Why do they believe what they believe? Why is Mom so quiet? Why does Aunt Mary not cry? Do we know? Do we care? Wouldn’t it be nice to figure it all out while you’re sitting with them, looking into their eyes?
This is one of those lessons that I know will have to be learned the hard way. One day they will realize that I had a life before they were born. One day they will honor my strength for overcoming the obstacles that could have stood in the way of me being a good mother to them. One day, they will understand what it means to be Pagan and they will honor me for my courage to walk a different path. One day, they will realize how much I love them. One day, I will not be here. I want them to know me and understand me before that time comes. I don’t think it will work out that way. I think we all walk around with the wounds of “what if.” I don’t think it has to be that way. I think we need to take more time with the ones we love. We get so caught up in the daily grind. We get angry at each other for things that don’t even really matter. We need to learn to listen, not just hear. We need to listen to their body language, and we need to listen to the voice inflections. We need to listen to the subtle clues that vibrate through the air currents, which tell us about the other person. We need to take a moment each day and consciously decide to learn one thing about another person. Take the time to tell the ones you love how you feel about them.
I think if we would take a few moments each morning, instead of running out the door, to make a decision to slow down for a little while each day. If we would make the choice to not keep procrastinating about visiting our aging mother who tells the same stories over and over, to sit with our child and understand how their understanding the world around them, we would become better people for it. I believe it would change not only the ones we’ve taken the time with, but also ourselves. We have to stop letting life get in the way. I think we would understand how we all became to be the people we are and how the ones around us became the people they are. I think all of us would be able to let things go easier.
I believe, as a society, we have lost the course we were supposed to be on. Somewhere, we allowed money and instant gratification to become more important than even the ones that are supposed to mean the most to us. I think, as a Pagan community, we need to be different than that. I think we need to set the standards and set them high. I think we should start living as we talk, to be the example of change in our world. One person can make a difference. I feel that our time is coming. We need to be united and to send a message to the world. We need to slow down and let the message come through loud and strong. Pagans are about love and about doing what is right. We’re about caring about each other, even others of different races and beliefs. We have to start at home.
Tonight, call someone you haven’t talked to in awhile and tell them how much you’ve missed them. Reach out to someone who’s made you angry and tell them that you have forgiven them, set up a date with your spouse, dinner with your parents, a movie with your kids. Don’t worry about how much it will cost. It will cost you much more to not do these things. Don’t worry about what others will think. It is up to us to be the example. Today is the time to take the first steps toward a new world; one we all know is possible. I don’t believe we can put it off any longer.