Hoard, hoard, hoard! Squirrel has been a busy fellow, gathering food for the long winter ahead—and he advises you to do the same. Have you set enough money aside to get you through lean times, or do you squander what you earn? We all love a shopping spree, but if Squirrel scurries into your reading, he’s cautioning you to spend a little, but also save a little.
I would like to apologize for us being late. It is totally my fault. I have several sites that I do my graphics in and guess what? Dumb ass didn’t bother looking at the name of site or nothing. I just assumed it was the WOTC and started posting away! I know what they mean about when you assume something!
You do not consider an outfit without some cat hair.
You believe there is no such thing as a naughty cat.
You decorate your Christmas tree with dangly cat toys.
Your neighbors refer to you as “the crazy one with all the cats.”
You set a place at the dinner table for your cat.
You snap your fingers and pat the sofa beside you to invite your guests to sit down.
You spend more money on toys for your cats than on the kids or grandkids.
You have the cat meow on the outgoing message of the answering machine.
You chose a house to buy based on it having a good location for the catbox.
You consider cat hair in your food as extra fiber.
Nobody’s feet are allowed on the furniture, but your cats are welcome to sleep on any piece they so choose
You sleep on one edge of the bed because the cat is sleeping in the middle looking soooo cute!
Vaccination and licensing records for all your cats are in perfect order, but your checkbook hasn’t been balanced in months, and last year’s tax records are nowhere to be found.
You refer to going to the bathroom as “using the litterbox.”
You accidentally put your child’s dinner plate on the floor.
You apologize when you step on a fuzzy cat toy in the dark.
You refer to your cat as your furry child.
Your parents wind up with a four-footed, furry “grandchild.”
You plan your vacation around the cat show schedule.
You accidentally call your spouse by your cat’s name!
You have a set of towels with “his” “hers” and “kitty’s.”
You call home and leave a message on the answering machine for your cat.
You and kitty have matching outfits.
You never go to the door unless it’s to let a cat out.
Your favorite friends have fleas.
You think cat fur makes a wonderful garnish to any meal.
You own 17 varieties of kitty-nail-clippers.
You are lost for conversation with non-cat people.
You meow so well, you confuse the cats.
You bore the neighbors with discussions on the exact nutritional differences between 90 percent of your Internet connection time goes to the cats (seeing what’s new when you enter your cat’s breed into the browser, reading cat newsgroups, viewing photos, sounds and faqs, etc.).
All dates must pass your cat’s inspection
All kinds of things around the house are in need of repair, but the injured cat you rescued by the side of the road requires immediate surgery and out comes the checkbook
All of your charitable donations go to cat-related and humane society groups.
All of your clothes have cat hair on them, even when they come back from the laundromat or dry cleaners.
All of your furniture came to you second hand or via curbside discard, but your cat furniture is top of the line.
All your social activities revolve around other cat people Your voice is recognized by your vet’s receptionist
Any conversation you’re having is effortlessly directed back to the topic of cats
THIRTY ONE SIGNS TECHNOLOGY HAS OVERTAKEN YOUR LIFE
1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty’s address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail address for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write “is” letterhead.
2. You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one
device on your body beep or buzz.
3. You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can’t because
there isn’t one typewriter in your house — only computers with laser printers.
4. You think of the gadgets in our office as “friends,” but you forget to send
your father a birthday card.
5. You disdain people who use low baud rates.
6. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking
with customers — and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty
minutes answering the customer’s questions, while the salesperson stands by
silently, nodding his head.
7. You use the phrase “digital compression” in a conversation without thinking
how strange your mouth feels when you say it.
8. You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say the phrase
“digital compression.” Everyone understands what you mean, and you are not
surprised or disappointed that you don’t have to explain it.
9. You know Bill Gates’ e-mail address, but you have to look up your own
social security number.
10. You stop saying “phone number” and replace it with “voice number,” since we
all know the majority of phone lines in any house are plugged into contraptions
that talk to other contraptions.
11. You sign Christmas cards by putting 
next to your signature.
12. Off the top of your head, you can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that
are far more clever than .
13. You back up your data every day.
14. Your wife asks you to pick up some minipads for her at the store and you
return with a rest for your mouse.
15. You think jokes about being unable to program a VCR are stupid.
16. On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster
than everyone else who is reading John Grisham novels.
17. The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music rarely enters your
mind.
18. You are able to argue persuasively the Ross Perot’s phrase “electronic town
hall” makes more sense than the term “information superhighway,” but you don’t
because, after all, the man still uses hand-drawn pie charts.
19. You go to computer trade shows and map out your path of the exhibit hall in
advance. But you cannot give someone directions to your house without looking up
the street names.
20. You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.
21. You become upset when a person calls you on the phone to sell you
something, but you think it’s okay for a computer to call and demand that you
start pushing buttons on your telephone to receive more information about the
product it is selling.
22. You know without a doubt that disks come in five-and-a-quarter and three-
and-half inch sizes.
23. Al Gore strikes you as an “intriguing” fellow.
24. You own a set of itty-bitty screw-drivers and you actually know where they
are.
25. While contemporaries swap stories about their recent hernia surgeries, you
compare mouse-induced index-finger strain with a nine-year-old.
26. You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure enough to
say “I don’t know” when someone asks you a technology question instead of
feeling compelled to make something up.
27. You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.
28. You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns
bread into charcoal.
29. You have ended friendships because of irreconcilably different opinions
about which is better — the track ball or the track “pad.”
30. You understand all the jokes in this message. If so, my friend, technology
has taken over your life. We suggest, for your own good, that you go lie under a
tree and write a haiku. And don’t use a laptop.
31. You e-mail this message to your friends over the net. You’d never get
around to showing it to them in person or reading it to them on the
phone. In fact, you have probably never met most of these people face-
to-face.
working out some more bugs this week before it was over with! One of the little devils crawled out of the keyboard, well really off the computer screen.
I gave everyone here at the WOTC the week off (except the guys & gal that helps with the critters). I did that were I could fix the computer and have some quiet time. I wanted the time to myself to fix the computers right. Well I did. The two computers were so screwed up, I had to wipe them totally clean. Then come to find out, Annie had dug through the disks’ files, mixed them all up and she had no earthly idea where the backup disks to the computers were. So I said fine, I will see you next week, all of you. Then I wiped the computers clean from their hard drives. I don’t what she did but nothing would come up on either one of the computers. I was able to open the computers up through their safe mode settings and go from there.
In the process of replacing everything else, I had to go and try to find the Microsoft Works package. When I found it, it was only $164.00. I said crap. That amount of money would feed and pay the light bill here, I couldn’t afford that. So instead, I went and downloaded this half-assed piece of poop. I believe it is called Office Open or Open Office, something like that. Anyway it has a mind of its own. I put the margins in place, go to type, their gone. I can be typing one spot, then my cursor is back at the beginning and I have screwed it all up.
Today, my good mood got shot down quickly. I put the Almanac on there, the Spell, Life As The Witch. I selected paste all of it. It was plainly left on the program here on my computer. I put it over in my old group on Yuku, thank goodness. By the time I got back to get the Correspondence, everything was gone. EVERYTHING!
So now, I am using the little notepad on my computer. I know ya’ll get tired of listening to me bitch but I swear if someone doesn’t know what they are doing, why do they do it anyway. WHY!
When it came to the horoscopes, the notepad wouldn’t cooperate at all. So I just stopped. I am trying to figure out what I am going to have to do. I know what I need to do but you can’t squeeze blood from a turnip.
Believe me, it does feel good to get this stuff off my chest. It is also a good thing I gave everyone in the office the week off. Or else you would have been reading about me in the paper. I don’t know it will work out somehow I hope. Just have a little more patience, please. I will get these programs back on these computers eventually.
I appreciate the patience you have already had with me. How about we say the heck with it and do some spells now.
Ain’t I cute? Yes, this is my latest portrait, lol! Well if we believed in hell I could say this has been a week from there. Huh, I guess I could say this has been a week at the stake, poor taste, very poor.
Let’s see where did it all start? Oh, yeah I remember now……I left Annie in charge of getting out the daily postings, yes that was it! It was the morning that we got the call to go chase those little baby vultures through the woods. I had to go, the Countess who knows where she is at. I have a good idea but I won’t say, lol! I had ever thing on my computer for the day already to go. I asked Annie if she would come over and post the postings. No problem, she said. So I left to go vulture hunting and left the office to my dear, sweet Annie. Well while I was gone, she screwed up my computer. Unfortunately, she tried to fix it :s ! She couldn’t fix it so she went and got on another computer. She did the same thing but this time she just turned it off. By the time I came back I had four little pecking vultures and two crashed computers. Well my was crashed so bad it wouldn’t even boot up. The thing that made matter worse is that she didn’t even mention crashing my computer to me. She said she had to leave early. She left I sit down to see if she had the postings done. Nothing! I said a few choice words and went to the next computer. Nothing again. It is a good thing she left early. Then we are short a computer because of hers getting destroyed in the fire. So I said the hell with it and went and played with the cougar. I kept wondering if the cougar would open her mouth and I could stick my head in, lol!
The insurance adjuster came out and he agreed that they would fix and replace everything. All I have to do is pay the deductible. I plan on getting a new computer and when I do, I am putting a bear trap on it. I still have to get a contractor. The insurance agent told me to get whoever I wanted and they wouldn’t say anything except, “Fix it!”
Anyway, I got this computer up and on the net. I wanted to let you know what was going on. We are experiencing……
I have to reload tons of files on this one and I still have the other one to go. I was hoping we would be back on the net today. But it isn’t going to happen. We will be back tomorrow for sure. Just have patience with us. Annie is still learning computers, if you couldn’t tell, lol!
Have a very Blessed Day,
Luv & Hugs,
Lady A
People of ability find their way and make progress even in difficult circumstances. Consider your steps carefully when you are surrounded by changing forces. Weak and strong forces (or people) can co-exist when the weaker element does not impose upon the stronger, when the weaker maintains good humor and avoids taking bold action. When treading among sleeping tigers — or slippery stones — step gingerly and don’t stumble.
In the company of strong, brash people, rushing wildly ahead brings misfortune. Now is not a good time for taking the initiative; rather, try getting by with a little grace and good humor. In the court of a powerful king, the jester often has more power than the prince.
1.Never give yourself a haircut after
three margaritas.
2.You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape.
If it
doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40.
If it moves and shouldn’t, use the
tape.
3.The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship
are:
“I apologize” and “You are right.”
4.Everyone seems normal until you
get to know them.
5.When you make a mistake, make amends immediately.
It’s
easier to eat crow while it’s still warm.
6.The best advice that your mother
ever gave you was.
“Go! You might meet somebody!”
7. If he/she says that
you are too good for him/her–believe them.
8. Learn to pick your battles;
ask yourself, ‘Will this matter one year from now?
How about one month? One
week? One day?’
9. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
10. If you woke up
breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
11. Living well really
is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship
just might mean that the other person was right about you.
12. Work is good,
but it’s not that important.
13. Be really nice to your friends. You never
know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.
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