Posts Tagged With: Humor

Your Ancient Symbol Card for February 21 is The Cat

Your Ancient Symbol Card for Today

The Cat

The Cat represents the need for stealth and the freedom to act without restrictions. Acting stealthily in no way implies the need for underhanded behavior. Instead the suggestion here is to move quietly towards your goals and reach out for them when they are within range. It also denotes a need to free yourself from restrictions imposed by others.

As a daily card, The Cat suggests that the opportunity to attain your goals is very strong at the moment. However, you need to keep your intentions to yourself and shed whatever limitations have been put on you by others.

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A Little Humor For Your Day – “What Things On Your Resume Really, Really Mean, LOL!

What Things On Your Resume Really Mean

I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESSFUL SITUATIONS: I’m usually on Prozac. When I’m not, I take lots of cigarette and coffee breaks.

I SEEK A JOB THAT WILL DRAW UPON MY STRONG COMMUNICATION & ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS: I talk too much and like to tell other people what to do.

I’M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION: I’ve used Microsoft Office.

I’M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE: I pilfer office supplies.

MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES: I hope you don’t ask me about all the McJobs I’ve had.

I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK: I blame others for my mistakes.

I’M BALANCED AND CENTERED: I’ll keep crystals at my desk and do Tai Chi in the lunch room.

I HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR: I know a lot of corny, old jokes and I tell them badly.

I’M PERSONABLE: I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers.

I’M WILLING TO RELOCATE: As I leave San Quentin, anywhere’s better.

I’M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL: I carry a Day-Timer.

MY BACKGROUND AND SKILLS MATCH YOUR REQUIREMENTS: You’re probably looking for someone more experienced.

I AM ADAPTABLE: I’ve changed jobs a lot.

I AM ON THE GO: I’m never at my desk.

I’M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED: The minute I find a better job, I’m outta there.

I HAVE FORMAL TRAINING: I’m a college drop-out.

I INTERACT WELL WITH CO-WORKERS: I’ve been accused of sexual harassment.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND CONSIDERATION: Wait! Don’t throw me away!

I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU SOON: Like, I’m gonna hold my breath waiting for your stupid form letter thanking me for my interest and wishing me luck in my future career.

 

Funny Humor

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‘THINK on THESE THINGS’ for December 18th

‘THINK on THESE THINGS’
By Joyce Sequichie Hifler

There seems to be two important things to do in times of difficulty. One is to pray and the other to keep our sense of humor. The first is essential to make the basic correction and the other is necessary to balance the human spirit while things work out.

Without a sense of humor, we tend to become too serious about the personal self. It becomes all too important, too self-righteous, and far too self-centered.

At the first signs of trouble, we may want to find someone wiser in whom to confide and ask questions. And their advice may be most helpful, but it is still our own responsibility to get off our backs and do it with dignity and self-respect that will not lower our standards nor cause us embarrassment. And humor can help us do it.

There is humor in every situation if we can detach ourselves from the seriousness of it long enough to look for it. Abraham Lincoln knew the importance of his sense of humor and said, “With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.”

________________________________________

Available online! ‘Cherokee Feast of Days’
By Joyce Sequichie Hifler.

Visit her web site to purchase the wonderful books by Joyce as gifts for yourself or for loved ones……and also for those who don’t have access to the Internet: http://www.hifler.com
Click Here to Buy her books at Amazon.com

Elder’s Meditation of the Day
By White Bison, Inc., an American Indian-owned nonprofit organization. Order their many products from their web site: http://www.whitebison.org

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A Little Humor for Your Day – What Things On Your Resume Really Mean

What Things On Your Resume Really Mean

I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESSFUL SITUATIONS: I’m usually on Prozac. When I’m not, I take lots of cigarette and coffee breaks.

I SEEK A JOB THAT WILL DRAW UPON MY STRONG COMMUNICATION & ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS: I talk too much and like to tell other people what to do.

I’M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION: I’ve used Microsoft Office.

I’M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE: I pilfer office supplies.

MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES: I hope you don’t ask me about all the McJobs I’ve had.

I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK: I blame others for my mistakes.

I’M BALANCED AND CENTERED: I’ll keep crystals at my desk and do Tai Chi in the lunch room.

I HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR: I know a lot of corny, old jokes and I tell them badly.

I’M PERSONABLE: I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers.

I’M WILLING TO RELOCATE: As I leave San Quentin, any where’s better.

I’M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL: I carry a Day-Timer.

MY BACKGROUND AND SKILLS MATCH YOUR REQUIREMENTS: You’re probably looking for someone more experienced.

I AM ADAPTABLE: I’ve changed jobs a lot.

I AM ON THE GO: I’m never at my desk.

I’M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED: The minute I find a better job, I’m outta there.

I HAVE FORMAL TRAINING: I’m a college drop-out.

I INTERACT WELL WITH CO-WORKERS: I’ve been accused of sexual harassment.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND CONSIDERATION: Wait! Don’t throw me away!

I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU SOON: Like, I’m gonna hold my breath waiting for your stupid form letter thanking me for my interest and wishing me luck in my future career.

Funny Humor

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Good Monday Morn, My Dear Friends & Family!

Good Monday morning, my dear family! How are you doing today? I hope super. At least the Sun is shining here and that seems to lift my spirit just alone. Sorry about the weekend! I got pissed at myself Saturday, it just seemed like I couldn’t get anything done. Then I felt guilty about Sunday, but a little voice told me to relax and enjoy what I was doing. I have to admit I did enjoy it. My poor broke finger (that was suppose to be healed) is telling the tale I enjoy it too much, lol! Oh, so not funny! I still ain’t sure about those darn jingle bells. I guess they will have to do till I find something better.

I can’t get over it being December. It seems like this year has just flew by. The old saying around here, “Time flies when you are having a good time,” I must have been having one heck of a good time! Thinking back, I hope I don’t have this good of time ever again, lol! Broken finger & leg, stitches in the hand, and I am sure there are quite a few things I am forgetting. Oh, yeah, lost of memory, seriously! You ever go to do something, get up from the desk and then wonder what you got up for? That’s me. If I don’t write it down anymore, it don’t get done. I could call it what it is but I am not that old yet! Keyword, “yet!”

One more thing before I run…..Who hooked me up on Match.com? Everyone here swears up and down they didn’t (yeah, right!). It was curious when I opened up our email and there was about 6 or 7 saying, “Here are your matches for Kentucky.” I had to do a double take on that one. I thought it was funny though. Someone (and I am positive I know who) used my ID and our site email account and opened up a Match.com just for little old me. I almost laughed my rump off. I guess someone is trying to give me that extra special Yule present this year. Thanks Mystie but I am perfectly content the way things are right now. Ooops, did I say, “Mystie!”

Anyway I have got to run for now. I hope everyone has a very blessed week. Be safe, my friends!

Luv & Hugs,

Lady A

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A Little Humor for Your Day – The Truth About Cats

The Truth About Cats

  • There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
  • Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
  • Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
  • In a cat’s eye, all things belong to cats.
  • As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.
  • “One cat just leads to another.” — Ernest Hemingway
  • Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
  • Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
  • People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.
  • Cats aren’t clean, they’re covered with cat spit.
  • A dog will jump on your lap because he likes you; a cat will jump on your lap because it’s warmer than the floor.

Turok’s Cabana

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Let’s Talk Witch – Has Moved for the Day

hecate4

I have my reasons for moving the “Let’s Talk Witch” section today. It will be after the cartoon today. I am going to write it and you know how I am when I get started, lol!

If you have a moment, stick around or pop back in later and read it. It is going to deal with our Ancestors and rituals that we might be planning on doing. Should be interesting. Because I had never thought of what I am going to write about till this morning, hmm…..

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Wishing You A Very Happy & Healthy Saturday!

I hope everyone is having a great day. I have been up since 2 this morning with a sick stomach. I took a brief nap thought I might feel better when I got up, HA! It was only worse. I don’t believe I can do any posting while sitting on the toilet, sorry.

But I am either going back to bed or the bathroom, one or the other. I hate to let you down but hopefully it is just a 24 hour bug. If you can’t find enough around here to get into, run over to our Pinterest account. Check out what Mystie is putting on there. We haven’t figured out yet how to connect two or three people to the same board. So she uses my account till we get it figured out. Anyway she is over there. I am in the bathroom. If I don’t flush myself (a little bathroom humor, ha, ha), I will see you tomorrow.

Goddess Bless You & Yours,

Luv & Hugs,

Lady A

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