I figure most of it know that I lost my mother when I was very young. From what I remember she was a very, very special woman. She just had a heart full of nothing but love for me. No matter what I did, she never got angry with. She never raised a hand to me except to hug me and kiss me on the cheek.
I will never forget the day the doctor told us she had cancer. He gave her six months to maybe two years. Can you imagine being 11 years old and hearing that? My mother was my world, my whole world. My daddy working on the river as a Captain. He was gone all the time. My mother is who I grew up with. She was Mom and Dad both to me. I was crushed.
She lived for two years after that. Most of the time in and out of hospitals. I watched her suffer so. She fought so hard to live because she didn’t want to leave me and I didn’t want her to leave. In the hospital, she would always insist I sit beside her. We would hold hands and I would lay my head on her shoulder. I know the day they told me she probably wouldn’t live through the night, I fell to the floor. I went in to the room to grab every second I could with her. I never cried or anything, I wanted to be strong for her. I think she knew she was going to pass. She would take her hand and rub my hair so slowly. She would whisper, “I love you, baby, always remember that.” Time came for me to leave, I remember her raising up in the bed were I could hug her. I hug her for dear life and fought the tears back. I told her I loved her more than life itself. Then as I was walking out the door, she told me, “Goodbye.” She knew her time had come. I cried all the way back home.
I even cry now crying this. Something’s we can’t understand or meant too. They say everything happens for a purpose but I have never found the purpose in her passing except to rob me of a loving mother. Yes, I am still bitter to this day. I don’t understand it and I never will. But I have asked the Goddess to comfort me and I believe She has. I have this vision in my head of a bridge, it is an old wooden bridge, beautiful though. I am walking up to it and on the other side, I see my mother waiting for me. She has her arms wide open and screaming my name. We both embrace, hug, laugh, cry and most of all celebrate our reuniting again.
Dear Goddess, Let It Be So!
Not only for my mother but others’ who have also had their mothers pass on.
We will never forget you and on this Mother’s Day,
We remember You.
We love you and we will meet again till then remain in our hearts and remain with us always,
Things I Miss About You
It’s Mother’s Day again,
And I’m trying to make it through,
Because this day reminds me
Of all the things I miss about you.
I miss your face smiling down at me,
With love shining from your eyes.
I miss the way you’d laugh at my jokes
So hard that it made you cry.
I miss the touch of your dear hands,
How gentle and kind they could be.
And I miss the warmth of your hugs, and how
You’d wrap me up tight as could be.