Lord of the Ants
by Karl Lembke
(sung to the tune of “Lord of the Dance”)
Well we cleansed with sugar ’cause the salt was gone, And the color was right though the substance might be wrong, And when the water dried, it was sticky, my oh me, It attracted all of the ants, you see,
(chorus) Ants, ants, all over they shall be, I am the lord of the ants, you see. I’ll crawl on you, and you’ll itch from me, And you’ll dance with ants in your pants, said he.
We have ants in the carpets and we’ve ants in the drapes, We have ants in the kitchen dancing galliards on the grapes, We have ants in the bedroom and what may be more fun, We have ants in our circles now from sun to sun.
‘What to do’ cried the priestess, ‘what to do’ cried the priest, ‘All the baits and the sprays haven’t helped us in the least, ‘The buggers eat it up and it only makes us sick, ‘All in all I’d say it is no pic-nic!’
We stood round the fire while the flames lept up high, With the sound of the sirens wailing up to the sky, Though the bug bombs exploded it could still have been worse, At least now we’re free of the ant lord’s curse!
(spoken: “Oh hell!”)