My Body is a Temple.

Author: Aiko Ren 

I write this to express my gratitude. I have always felt ‘less than’… something was missing. At a very young age, I turned to drugs to fill my void. I was a dirty junkie who could care less about myself. The statement ‘the body is a temple’ made no sense to me. I don’t want to get explicated but, in order for someone to understand my bottom, I have to share it. I had horrible hardships in my life. Some were a direct consequence of my drug use; others were because I was a victim. I would bruise my body injecting drugs and I would sleep around to obtain the next hit. I was raped several times, which caused me to lose faith in everyone and everything. I didn’t understand how there could be any good in the world if such horrible things could happen. I was always looking at things negatively. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was at the end of the road. It was either get clean and change, or die.

My clean date is May 11th 2010. When I surrendered my addiction, I started to look for a higher power. This was hard for me at first because my views were so different then everyone else’s’. I felt like no one understood my beliefs. I started to read about the Craft, first out of curiosity. The more I learned about Wiccan ways, the more I learned about myself. I started to understand the saying my body is ‘a temple’. I started to see all the good in the universe. I started to meditate and became driven to better myself. Today, I do the next right thing because that is the right thing to do. Wicca has brought hope into my life.

Even though I am new to living this path, I feel like I found my home. The feeling I received when I got clean is very similar to finding my higher power. I love myself today. I am a loyal girlfriend. I am a respectable daughter. I am a good friend. I am a witch. When I started to dedicate my life to the Craft instead of just reading about it, I was nervous about what others would think. This is a character defect of mine. I am a people pleaser. Once again I was thinking about what others wanted instead of what I wanted.

In the beginning, I was hiding it from everyone I knew; similar to how I hid my addiction. I was telling people I was at my friend’s house when I was really at my local metaphysical shop. I took out library books on Wicca and hid them from my family. I hid my ritual supplies under my bed. I felt guilty about this. I felt like I was ashamed of something. I have read about how society views Wicca and how some choose to hide their beliefs… but I didn’t want to be one of them. (I wasn’t going to tell random strangers, ‘hey I am a witch’ but I at least wanted to tell my family and my close friends.)

I finally came to the decision that a Wiccan was what I wanted to be and I started to take steps to become one. I began to read books in front of my family. As I continued to learn, I also educated them about Wicca. When they finally got over the whole, “why are you reading that devil worshipping stuff, ” and realized what Wicca really meant, they were accepting. This allowed me to practice the craft without feeling like I was lying to the world. When I finally shared it with my family and my close friends, it opened new opportunities. I started to search passionately for guidance. I shared with a close friend my newfound life and found out that she too follows the same path. I started e-mailing other people on this website to start building a support network.

I want to share a little bit more about how my family’s perspective on Wicca. At first, they were completely clueless about anything. They were afraid, thinking that I was dabbing in evil things. Then they believed that I was going to put spells on the family and try to make them turn to toads or something. The more they saw how happy and dedicated I was though, the more accepting they became.

I do not know much ‘about’ Wicca, but I ‘feel’ Wicca. (If that makes sense) I understand there are fundamentals, however I also believe it’s up to one ’s self to figure it out. I believe in practicing on your own, even though the joy of sharing it with someone seems so powerful.

I am writing this article not only to show my gratitude towards my newfound path but also to give a “newcomer’s” view. I am sharing my experience, strength, and hope to maybe touch someone else who is struggling. Maybe I will find someone who can help me. All I know is I had an overwhelming desire to write this article, and usually that means something.

Since I decided to follow the Craft I have a new perspective on life. I find gratitude in the small things. I have a renewed sense of the universe. Nature looks greener to me. Things that were once puzzling now make sense. The desire to find myself has always been a struggle for me, even before I picked up drugs. By following this path, by collecting knowledge, and by practicing, I am finding myself. I could continue on and on about how my life has changed since I made the decision to become a witch, but I know as you are reading this you are probably looking back on your life and feeling the same way. Our stories might be very different, but the feelings are the same.

I believe there are many paths to the same destination. Everyone can follow a different path and have a different story, but the universe brings us together for a reason. And that is powerful stuff.

Blessed be. Let the Goddess and God be with you.

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4 thoughts on “My Body is a Temple.

  1. Linda

    Thanks for sharing your story. When you say Wicca gave you hope–that’s the way it feels for me. Thanks again.

  2. d. gabby

    Thank you, It is june 6, 2012, I’ve been having strange, unexplainable things happening in my life for the past 5 years, I mean extraordinary situations that have hurt me in life, but I did not know what to do, or who to tell about this, and when I did tell a close friend about the situations that was happening to me, they would be amazed just as much as me, and then I would not hear from them again or suddenly the friendship ended. I can’t make this up, it finally took all my friends, but not my sanity, because i was positive I would find out what is happening to me. I studied, dug and was patient for answers, for years, and I just could not pin point what changes I was going through, I knew it was some kind of higher power that was calling me, hurting me, trying to kill me or just trying to get my attention, but one thing I did know was I am nearing some kind of end, either by finding out what was going on, or by my death, more that likely by suicide. It’s been about 5 years I have been going through my ordeal, it has taken my career away from me, my friends, my family (My family all died within a 2 year period, Father,Mother,Grandmother, and my Uncle,) my family comes from Belize, so we are a small group of people, I have cousin and others, but we don’t keep in touch, we do when funerals happen, but my closest family have all passed so I want hear about anyone else dying and being invited to the funeral. I have a brother, but we do talk, only during the 2 years we were going to funerals, after that back to not knowing each. So you get my drift on what I have lost. I’m a strong soul, and very hungry for knowledge, and I really don’t mind being solo through life, it seems that what was being forced on me, being by myself and living day to day barely, because everyday I woke up, I became use to something extraordinary happening with no explanation on why it happen or why that person did what they did against me. Well of course something happened last week that still has me wondering why, I’m a stagehand, I was very succesful in my job, because I’m good at what I do and l loved my job, but of course it seemed what ever is working against me, would soon take that away from me, and in a extraodinary event, it wasn’t completely taken away but I was very limited in the work I was getting know, which was very little, barely enough to survive, my life became and still to this day very hard, and sometimes I conteplate suicide everyday I see sunlight, but I move on, well last week I am working for this show for Ms USA,, I do 2 or 3 days of work, for that work week. I am trying to get my money together, because rent is due this week, so of course I include the check I am supposed to be given for my labor, well there is no check for my labor and my steward on the job just says wait until next week, well my apt. complex is not saying ok we will let you wait. So long story short, I am on the verge of getting evicted from my apt. and if evicted I will never ever be able to get another apt. in this town again. I had a epiphany on June 6, 2012 around 2:45am, my grandmother was a devout christian, so was my mother, but being from Belize, they also dabbled in whatever they called it voodoo, witch craft. My grandmother was christian/witch, don’t know if it is possible to be that, but she pulled it off, because she practice both in front of me and my brother, that’s when it hit me to dig for some information on the craft, I have done some research on it before, but I think I was on the wrong side of it, and trying to use it for not what it was intended for, and that was about 12 years ago. It hit me, I jumped on my computer, and just started digging for the right information, a feeling came over me, like this was what I’ve been searching for the last 5 or 6 years, and as I type this letter, I am positive this is what I’ve been searching for, or this is what has been searching for me, because I feel like something was drawing me somewhere, but I had to reach there on my own. That’s where I am at so far, I have been reading ever since I had that epiphany, and I have said a couple of spells, chants, to try and help me with my problems I am having with work and finances. I feel good right now. thank you for reading and listening……..Dion

    • It is wonderful to hear from you, Dion. I am sorry that you have faced so many personal losses and tragedies in your life. Some of the experiences you described, I can relate to them. But each of us have our own ways of dealing with such experiences. I know they can seem overwhelming and leave you feeling very alone.

      Your letter broke my heart to read. Then at the end was the glimmering of hope. That hope is that you have found what you have been looking for. The Goddess will call to you, all you have to do is listen and answer. She rejects no one that seeks Her out. Perhaps at one time you were on the wrong side of Magick. I know that side can consume a person alive. I once walked that Path myself. Till I got cosmic smacked one day. I was made aware that the darker side of Magick was not were I was suppose to be. The Goddess brought me back. She showed me what my life’s mission was.

      Dion, do me a favor, embrace the Goddess fully. Let Her encompass your very being. Let Her fill your soul, heart and mind. Let Her take you by the hand and start to lead you down your new Path. All you have to do is open your heart and mind. And prepare for one of the most beautiful experiences in your life. The Goddess is Pure Love. To know Her, is like nothing you have ever experienced before.

      I sincerely hope that you stay with the Craft. It sounds like that your life is starting to straighten out. Heed Her calling. If you need any help or just want to talk, always feel free to contact me.

      Brightest of All Blessings to you,
      Lady A

      • Dion

        Thank you Lady A, I will take you up on your offer to help me with starting out, I am consuming so much information, but don’t know exactly where to start, so that I get and start in the right order, i want to learn the correct way and use the tools at my disposal the correct and most potent way, they should be used. So I am asking you and anyone else that would like to offer some guidance in the correct and proper way to approach my new calling. I feel thats is what it is, a calling for me to do special and great things and now is not the time to make mistakes in how I approach this way of life. So thank you for reading and responding

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