LIFE’S PECULIAR REFLECTIONS
2. I’m in shape. Round is a shape.
3. Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
4. I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
5. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
6. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
7. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
8. They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you’ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn’t your biggest problem.
9. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it’s because they’re such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
10. I Don’t Have An Attitude Problem … You Have a perception problem.